By Lashawnda Becoats
People ask me questions everyday. Sometimes it’s because I’m the editor of Pride magazine. Sometimes it’s because they know I’m a certified life coach. Sometimes people follow my fabulous adventures on social media. I love helping people so I decided to create an advice column based on the questions I get. Ask me anything. Hopefully my advice will help you and someone else.
Three months ago a good girlfriend stopped talking to me. We didn’t have a fight or disagreement about anything. The last time I saw her, we hung out and had a great time. We even made plans to get together again soon. I reached out to her by phone and text message a few weeks later but she hasn’t responded. I know she’s doing well because we have mutual friends she’s spent time with. What’s the deal? I’m trying not to get in my feelings but I don’t know what else to do. –Where’s My Friend?
Where’s My Friend: It seems shutting down is the new form of communication these days. I’ve been through something similar and initially I got in my feelings too. I wondered if I did something wrong to the person although I knew I had not. If you’ve reached out to your girl then guess what, you’ve done all that you can do. I don’t believe in making excuses for people. Give it some time. In the meantime, don’t take it personally and don’t waste time worrying over something you can’t control.
I’m a 34-year old woman who wants to do a few things differently with my health and finances. I’m out of shape and I’m always struggling financially. I hate to admit it but I’ve been slow to change myself because I’m afraid of what my family and friends will think. My friends hate on people who are doing better than they are. Now I’ll be one of those people they talk about. How do I start to get my life together? –Afraid to Change
Afraid to Change: Good job for wanting to live your life differently. Change is hard. At some point you will need to ask yourself “Am I living for myself or for my friends?” You’re responsible for your own well being mentally, physically and spiritually. Stand up for yourself by letting your friends know you’re on a new path. Growing is apart of life and sometimes you out grow people. If your friends can be supportive then you’ll have to find real friends who will. Get started by visualizing what you want, write it down and speak it into existence as much as possible. Remember to stay focused and believe in yourself.
I’m finally in a position to start doing some traveling but I’m not sure where to go. What do you suggest? –Ready to Go
Ready to Go: Exciting! Planning a trip can be overwhelming. Here are a few things to consider: 1. Do you want rest and relaxation or to hit the streets and explore a city? 2. Do you like the warm or cold weather? 3. Do you have hobbies such as hiking or culinary skills you’d like to continue develop? 4. Are you nervous about being in a city with a foreign language? After you answered these key questions, grab a map and let your heart wander. If you still can’t decide ask friends, family or co-workers about places they’ve enjoyed. Wherever you decide to go be sure to do as much research as possible, take lots of pictures and enjoy!
Email Lashawnda your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org You can also follow her at Facebook/Instagram: Lashawnda Becoats.