Ask Lashawnda: Advice for Everyday People

Lashawnda and Louis
Lashawnda Becoats

By Lashawnda Becoats

People ask me questions everyday. Sometimes it’s because I’m the editor of Pride magazine. Sometimes it’s because they know I’m a certified life coach. Sometimes people follow my fabulous adventures on social media. I love helping people so I decided to create an advice column based on the questions I get. Ask me anything. Hopefully my advice will help you and someone else.

Hey Lashawnda, I feel crazy asking about this but I think my boyfriend is jealous of my dog. He’s making such a big deal about how I treat my pup and it’s stressing me out. What should I do? -Love them both

Love them both: It’s true! Some people can become jealous of a pet especially if the pet seems to be getting the attention they feel they deserve. Are you disciplining your dog properly or are you letting him do things he shouldn’t? To ease tension, be sure that your man knows that although you love your dog, that he’s a priority as well. Reinforce this by balancing how you show both your man and dog attention especially when you are in the same space at the same time. Keep the line of communication open. It will be up to you to strike a healthy balance and not let the love for your dog possibly rule or ruin your relationship.

Hey Lashawnda: I have a friend who has body odor and it’s making it difficult to hang out with her. I don’t think she’s aware of it. Should I tell her? I don’t want to hurt her feelings. –No hurt feelings

No hurt feelings: I always go by what my grandmother use to say: “You can smell yourself before anyone else smells you” so I doubt that your friend doesn’t know she smells. Body odor could mean your friend may have a health issue or she might be choosing not to bathe. Who knows? If you’re considering altering/ending your friendship because of this then you should tell her especially since you say she’s a friend. Trust me, someone else may be feeling the same way and may not be kind about telling her. If you do tell her, be sure to pick a quiet private space to talk, and be gentle with your words.

Hey Lashawnda: I let a relative borrow money from me. It’s been weeks and she hasn’t hasn’t paid me back. Now I need the money. I want to ask her for it but I feel she should automatically pay it back. If she doesn’t pay me back then I’m going to stop talking to her. Am I wrong? –Money problems

Money problems:  I think it’s great you were able to help your relative in a time of need. However, there’s an old rule that says – Don’t lend anyone money if you’re not prepared to lose it. Did your relative say initially when she would pay you back? If she’s missed her deadline then you have every reason to be upset. If you never discussed how or when she should pay you back then maybe she thinks she doesn’t have to. It’s important to remember to set expectations upfront to avoid misunderstandings.  Before you decide to kick her to the curb, be fair. Ask her for a date when she intends to pay you back. Be sure to follow up with her. If she doesn’t pay you then you’ll have to seriously decide if it’s worth ending the relationship. I hope she pays you back.