By Shavonda Bean
Have you noticed more people openly discussing mental health, chatting about suspected diagnoses or recent therapy sessions? More children approach their parents about evaluations or starting therapy, and parents are responding. This gradual shift of acceptance and openness is monumental in normalizing mental health.
These conversations and improved access to healthcare build stronger support systems and keep the momentum going; however, women are still more likely to seek treatment than men. This leaves men less likely to be diagnosed and treated for symptoms like depression and anxiety, although one in ten men will be affected. The other startling fact is that men in the United States die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women. In 2023, suicide was the third leading cause of death for Black Americans ages 15 to 34.
The hidden threat of suicide requires the same type of exposure, conversation and attention as dispelling the overall stigma of mental illness. As a culture, we have considered suicide to be someone else’s problem for too long. Suicide is extremely difficult to talk about as it is often intermingled with fear and confusion; nevertheless, we must face it.
Our communities have limited access to culturally competent providers. This fact, combined with mistrust of the medical system, creates barriers to care that leave men’s needs unaddressed. In many cases, men are expected to mask emotions and show a level of strength that might make it difficult to admit to mental health challenges or suicidal thoughts. Added factors like systemic racism, identity conflicts, discrimination, and societal pressures worsen the matter. There is a lot of work to do.
While it is not unusual to have brief thoughts of death or suicide, planning and contemplating are more serious. Some men are likely to keep up their typical routines and activities while suffering in silence. Others will exhibit warning signs. Take them seriously. Signs might include withdrawal, increased irritability, increased use of alcohol and drugs, problems in school, unusual decline in academic performance, significant changes in behavior like increased sleeping, significant mood swings, and/or hopelessness.
Also, the loss of meaningful relationships or significant failures can worsen suicidal thoughts. Others might consider engaging in risky behaviors that prompt harm by others or openly talk about death and plans to end their lives. Be aware of sudden improvements in mood for a couple of reasons. Mood can improve as the decision to end one’s life brings relief and because an elevated mood can provide just enough energy to follow through.
Diagnoses such as post-traumatic stress and bipolar disorder are also associated with increased suicidal risk. Seek professional help as soon as possible. Treatment approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy address negative thought patterns and behaviors, while mindfulness-based stress reduction teaches exercises and strategies to manage the physiological reactions to stress, anxiety and trauma. Problem-solving skills are often pivotal in helping individuals consider alternatives to managing life’s temporary setbacks without considering death.
Providing our Black men and boys with heavy doses of love, validation, openness, family support and access to resources is invaluable. Create safe spaces for conversations without being dismissive or minimizing, and often more importantly, be direct. If you are worried that someone is considering suicide, ask. Asking does not plant the idea of suicide; it instead creates space for open dialogue. Have resources like 988 Lifeline readily available. It is a national hotline that provides 24/7 support for mental health, suicide and problems related to substance use. Do not assume that success, athleticism, beauty or the appearance of a perfect family will provide immunity from this type of thought.
Suicidal thoughts are like unwanted guests, and one should guard and protect their minds and thoughts, just as they would protect their homes. Check on our boys and men. Let’s keep the conversations going that bring them towards healing.